Welcome to the Grow Inward Podcast, I’m your host Adrian Petrillo!
Today I wanted to talk about something that I believe is the single most valuable tool at our disposal, and this applies to every human being, in my view. It doesn’t cost you anything, you don’t have to worry about doing it wrong, and you really don’t need any drawn out formal instruction to benefit greatly from it. Ironically, the benefits can be significantly amplified the more you are able to relax and let go of your attachments to expectations or specific results.
Having faith in the process, regardless of the immediately measurable effects, is particularly valuable in this practice. Leaning into your faith can of course be quite challenging, as I am sure you are aware, but you can rest assured that this is somewhere that it will serve you very well. In a culture drenched with the need to have everything "right now", having any faith, patience, or trust are increasingly some of our most endangered species, and yet they are immeasurably valuable skills to practice daily. They can also pay huge dividends in the areas of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual growth, because these all tend to require some amount of time, effort, and commitment to bring forth noticeable results.
Now, I just want to say that what I am sharing with you are methods that I have found particularly useful when starting out. These are common and well established methods that have been used by many others as well. Please only take what is meaningful to you, and feel free to disregard whatever you do not agree with, or that which does not resonate with you. Be discriminating, and always listen to your own inner voice when it comes to deciding what works best for you.
One of the fundamental themes of this podcast, is that nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Choose to look within and discover your true north star, this is the guidance you should always trust above all else, without exception. Strengthen this part of yourself by following your own intuition and experiences, gradually over time.
So what is the most valuable tool at your disposal? One word my friend, meditation! I know that you have heard it said a million times, it’s talked about all over the news and media, and you may even shake your head at mere mention of it! But, let me just tell you, this truly is a magical tool at your disposal that has the potential to help you in all areas of your life. It is absolutely worth an honest try, for so many great reasons.
I am not going to do a deep dive into all the reasons, or many different types of meditation in this particular episode. I may go into these things in a later show, but today I just wanted to share some very simple meditation concepts that can apply to all meditators, from the beginner to the advanced. Again, what I am sharing are my own views and experiences here, but they largely draw from mindfulness meditation specifically. There is all sorts of additional free information online, if you want to learn more about it just search around a little bit. So, I invite you to take what you can from this episode as a starting point, and branch out from there if you feel called to do so.
What I want to share today is going to be very simple, as far as techniques are concerned, but first, I want to talk just a bit about what meditation means to me and how I tend to view it. I think that this context will be helpful to speak about up front with you, it may help you to understand my approach a bit better, and also help you to gauge if this resonates with you and your own goals? Just know that regardless of your own goals, this could still be a good place to begin and to get a feel for the process.
The first thing I will say is that I personally use meditation as a spiritual practice first and foremost. While meditation does provide many physical and mental benefits, which I also enjoy, I would say that my current personal goals in meditation are seeking a closer connection between the creator and myself, and a sincere desire to better understand my own true nature. Now these don’t have to be your goals of course, but I find that these are the aspects which I am most drawn to. I have also found that these appear to be some fairly common goals in a meditation practice, generally speaking, and they tend to be meaningful to each of us, in some form or another.
I also believe that it is beneficial to approach meditation with a beginner’s mindset, each time you practice. I believe that bringing a sense of humility to your practice is of great benefit to your overall personal growth. Keeping an open mind and understanding that personal or spiritual growth are very much lifelong pursuits, where there are endless avenues to explore, learn, and grow, for all of us. These paths are an ever shifting landscape of courage, honesty, trust, acceptance, and growth, and establishing and maintaining a growth mindset early on helps you to progress much more effectively, in my humble opinion.
Try to avoid getting wrapped up in any kind of comparison or complexity, when it comes to just sitting down and doing the best that you can in the moment. Trust in the fact that you are always benefiting in some way, be it large or small, even when it feels difficult, and it will become difficult at times, but it will also feel incredibly easy at times. It is really no different than your day to day life in this sense.
In my view, so much of the value of meditation is in the actual sincerity of your desire to better understand yourself, and all the potential that you have within you, while also striving to establish a closer connection with your own higher power. It is unimportant which name you use to describe this, God, the creator, Zeus, whatever, just honor that which is meaningful to you and your beliefs. There is always room here for all different beliefs and points of view, they are all welcome.
Through the very act and willingness to sit quietly with the desire to understand your true nature and to grow, you are never doing meditation in the wrong way. It doesn’t matter how erratic your thought patterns are, how impossible it may seem to quiet your mind, how many times you have to bring yourself back to zero, or the perceived quality of each meditation session. What truly matters is that sincere desire in your heart to turn your attention within to better understand your true self. I also encourage you to summon your inner childlike curiosity, that curiosity that brings you back time and time again, feeding that desire to learn more about your inner world.
Let’s talk a little about how long you should meditate for? I won’t dispute the fact that sitting for longer periods of time could potentially be very profound and insightful. However, this is not necessary by any means, especially if you are just starting out! When I first began meditating, it was all I could do to sit for even 5 minutes. My mind was racing, and I could not seem to quiet my mind down for the life of me? This is not uncommon at all, expect it, welcome it, and learn from it, but keep practicing. I promise it will get better over time!
For me, it took several months before I could sit for any more than 5 minutes, and I just want to mention this for a bit of perspective from when I was beginning. I think this could easily take longer for some people, and much less for others, we are all different, so try not to have any particular expectations. I think it was at about the year point that I could comfortably sit for 15 minutes fairly consistently. I won’t lie, it took some dedication and determination to get through the hardest part of the beginning stage.
But now, I still only sit for about 15 or 20 minutes most of the time, and that just seems to be the sweet spot for me. I still get all the benefits, and the quality of my meditation just keeps improving over time. In fact, I feel like I can quickly quiet my mind most days now through some simple breath work, and by the simple virtue of having practiced for years now. It certainly isn’t always this way, but I have come a long ways from where I began, and I notice a very big difference in myself and my life overall from this practice!
I encourage you to find your own pace and sweet spot. You will know it when you find it! For beginners, there can sometimes be an initial battle up front of doing something new that challenges you in different ways. But I promise you, it is well worth the consistent effort to overcome these challenges, and it will get noticeably easier over time as you sit down and simply practice with some consistency.
For those who suffer from anxiety or depression, lack of confidence or connection, or even self-love and acceptance issues, meditation really is a blessing. It isn’t a cure all by any means, but it can help immensely with these kinds of issues for many people, especially when done consistently over time. With personal growth and development, my experience has always been that the benefits far outweigh the efforts when it comes to taking better care of yourself. This, to me, applies to all physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual work! Do the work, and you will never be disappointed for having put in the effort to improve yourself or your situation.
Let’s talk a little bit about quieting the mind enough to listen, and what that means in my view. It’s not necessarily like listening for a particular sound or a voice, although it could be that depending on the person? It’s more about learning to calm your mind down enough that you are able to just let your thoughts come and go, simply witnessing them without actively focusing on them, while simultaneously remaining open to receiving inner guidance from your innermost self, or higher self. It doesn’t take long to begin noticing that your thoughts are very much separate from you, and by doing meditation, you will soon realize this for yourself, that you are absolutely not your thoughts.
This becomes very apparent because you are actually able to witness your thoughts as if you are watching them happen from a different or separate consciousness. You can see that they often arise without your active participation, which begs the question, if you are able to objectively witness your thoughts coming and going, then it stands to reason that there must be a separate part of you observing what is happening, there is another observer? This is a very interesting concept and experience, and one that may profoundly change the way you currently look at yourself and your thoughts. I won’t go too deep on this, but take this into consideration when you do sit down to listen, and experience this for yourself.
When it comes to listening for inner guidance, I am not referring to the thoughts that you are constantly experiencing in your mind, or intellectually. Inner guidance is beyond that part of your mind, I am referring to your deeper inner voice, or your higher self. I believe that this is a very unique aspect of each of us, and this guidance, or knowing as it is often referred to, will be very specific to your own concerns, needs, and desires. For example, at any given moment we each often have many questions or conflicts stirring within us. Questions or conflicts about our life, our feelings, our direction, our choices, our actions, etcetera. When you sit down with a sincere desire to know your true nature, inevitably these are the issues that you will be most concerned with, and therefore you may receive some inner guidance that addresses an aspect of these concerns as you allow them to come and go.
You can objectively observe the issues which are most pressing to you, and sometimes have a flash of guidance or inspiration with some course of action that will make a great deal of sense to you. You might sit down to meditate with an intention to know or understand something very specific, or these types of things may just come up naturally over time? Just know that you are listening for guidance on areas in life where you feel confused or stuck, and the more you can intend for guidance and then let go and simply listen, the better. Be patient and curious, you may not always get answers right away, but this is a process that I have found helpful when you trust yourself and let go to receive, rather than reaching for answers. Give them space to come to you instead.
You can tune into your inner guidance and voice when you begin to quiet yourself and your busy mind, and this is where the magic can happen. Listening, for me, is often done through my heart. It often feels like a warmth in my heart area, and the sensation is distinctly separate from my actual moment to moment thoughts. It come from deeper place within, and I just know the truth. This is your intuitive power, where you can actually tangibly feel the truth of the guidance you may be receiving or feeling.
Have you ever felt a truth or a knowing about something or someone, without being able to explain where that comes from, but yet you somehow know that it is very important and you should listen and trust this wisdom you are hearing or receiving? You often hear people say something along these lines all the time, they will say what does your heart tell you? This is wisdom that comes from within you, or possibly some collective source of consciousness, not from your brain or your thinking mind, but from a deep connection to your spirit and your innermost self. We all have a deep inner knowing within ourselves that is not easily explained by words alone, but I promise that you can learn to tune into this with practice and effort.
For many people this intuition and inner knowing comes quite easy, perhaps you know someone that can and does seem to do this well? Someone who lives very much from their intuitive side, or who is very tuned into something much deeper within themselves? If you do, and you need some help, try speaking with them and ask for some guidance to help you along. I will say this however, if you don’t have a resource or friend to help, you can discover and develop this skill in your own meditation practice by simply bringing that desire to better understand yourself and trusting that you will receive guidance, as I mentioned earlier. This desire alone will take you far in your own practice. It takes time, but have faith and be curious about it, you will learn to do this instinctively by turning your attention within.
While there are all sorts of different methods to approaching meditation, the basic ideas that I have already mentioned are highly effective in themselves. There is no need to start by overwhelming yourself with the idea that you need to follow any hard and fast rules. Don’t concern yourself with that, just begin by bringing a sincere desire to understand your true nature and a willingness to do the best you can to quiet your mind and listen. Deep rhythmic breathing in and out through the nose, is also a very helpful to help calm down your mind and body for meditation, and in life in general. We will talk more about breath work specifically in another episode.
I assure you, that even when you struggle, you are doing it right by the very virtue of your desire to understand! Everything you learn will grow and evolve over time, and it will be unique to you alone! Practice letting go of your attachments and expectations, and just be an observer in your meditation. Be still, and listen to your innermost self. Have patience, and be gentle with yourself. It can be frustrating at times, but it is such a valuable practice to connect regularly with yourself.
I could go on and on about this subject, because I truly feel passionate about what meditation can do for you! I feel this way because I have experienced the benefits directly for myself, and I know many others who have had the same, or similar experiences. I feel compelled to share this with you, because I want you to bring these benefits into your own life so you can find some peace and connection within yourself. I want you to experience one of the most amazing parts of your humanity, your spiritual side, and your ability to connect to something far beyond yourself. There is something truly magical about meditation and your inner world. Take time away from technology and all the distractions of the material world, this is very important and valuable work, much more so than any of the external or material aspects of todays world.
There are many other complimentary tools and practices that we will discuss going forward, but I recommend that you begin here. If you only do one thing for yourself, please meditate! Try it for yourself, and give it a honest effort. Try committing to meditating for 30 days, even it it’s just for a couple of minutes at a time, just do the best you can. Try writing down some quick notes about how you are feeling about yourself and your life before you begin, then do this again after the 30 days. Compare notes and see what you notice in what you wrote and also how you feel, it may provide the boost and inspiration you need to continue with a wonderful new habit. I truly hope you will, it can make such a big difference for you!
Let’s do a quick recap on some simple steps to begin meditating.
• Try sitting quietly for just 5 minutes a day if you are just beginning, and do the best you can
• Bring a sincere desire and intention to understand yourself and/or the creator better, and keep this as the heart of your focus
• Sit in a comfortable position and breath slowly and deeply in and out of your nose, this will calm down your nervous system and help you focus
• Simply observe your thoughts and allow them to come and go, if you become distracted, just bring your attention back to your breathing and continue this pattern as many times as necessary
• Commit to meditating for 30 days and observe any differences in yourself
• Be kind and patient with yourself, it takes some practice and consistency to find your sweet spot
• Believe in yourself, you can do this
**I recommend beginning in the morning if possible, I have found that after sleeping the mind is generally easier to quiet down, and meditating in the morning sets a great tone for the rest of your day.
I have a link below to a free pdf with these instructions for a quick reference, and it includes some additional commentary and detail as well,.
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I hope you enjoyed this episode, until next time, never underestimate the power you have within you, and keep growing inward.
