Welcome to the Grow Inward Podcast, I am your host Adrian Petrillo.
Hey hey! I’m happy to be back here with you today to talk about something that I had mentioned in the last episode, which is beginning again and again. For those of you who have had the pleasure of living life, which is all of you, you know that this is just part of the deal! This is especially true when doing any kind of personal growth or development. Beginning again and again just seems to come as part of the package.
Well having no manual is not the easiest way to go, but who reads the manual anyway, am I right? Since we find ourselves in this position, why not make the best of it? Let’s make some lemonade here folks!
It’s funny how some similar themes come up over and over again, right? One of those themes is learning acceptance. It’s a difficult one, I won’t lie, but it does become a little easier with practice, in certain circumstances, on very specific days, and not very often usually. Oh wait, lemonade! Sorry, I guess a little honesty wanted to slip out there. (laughs) It is hard, but it’s absolutely worth while to keep trying and to keep learning. If we can train ourselves to appreciate these eternal beginnings, this kind of work won’t feel like such a burden. Remember mindset is everything!
As human beings, we struggle with patience and acceptance, especially in a world that expects more and more of us in ways that don’t always serve us so well. What I mean is a busy lifestyle that requires us to fit all these obligations into these tight windows between work and sleep, leaving very little time for reflection, creativity, and rest. We seem to be always ON, but we must find time to turn down the noise and take better care of ourselves. This really isn’t optional if you want to be healthier and happier in life.
A little humility will go a long ways toward the idea of beginning again and again, and just accepting the fact that we are going to fall down from time to time. We will stray from our goals and our plans to do better, it’s just a part of the process of growth. I think that what is most important here is to bring a sense of humility to this process, and a willingness to just accept it as such. It may even help to look at it as an opportunity to improve upon what went wrong the last time?
Inner work and growth is not an easy path, but neither is your external life. It’s not like your outer life goes any smoother than your inner life most of the time? Each have their own unique challenges, but challenges are the common theme in both. Yes there are times of bliss and ease, but that is usually the exception, and I believe that life is purposefully this way to help us learn and grow. Again, how we choose to look at these circumstances has a profound impact on our ability to move forward and overcome them, especially when they become exceptionally challenging or confronting to us.
Things can often become so challenging that we just give up. We might throw our hands up and walk away in disgust, and that is really easy to do. I know, I have done it myself! But after a time, it becomes clear that giving up isn’t the best option, in many cases. Ultimately, there was a compelling reason that motivated us to attempt something so challenging. This could be any number of things, but we often come back to this and decide to try again because it is important to us somehow. This is one example of the process of beginning again, and it is important to not become discouraged, no matter how many times you find yourself right here.
Another important part of this appreciation for beginning again, is to remember that we should never expect personal growth or inner work to get easier, with very clearly defined boundaries of growth and improvement. It just doesn’t work this way, because we are all different. We have different thoughts and beliefs, we have different experiences and frames of reference, different fears and desires, and all of these things serve to create a unique situation that is necessary for you to overcome, in your own time and unique way. Give yourself the space to discover things at your own pace, be careful not to compare your progress with others. That comparison is rarely going to be even remotely accurate due to the infinite unique qualities that make up each of us.
If you are here with me, you likely have an interest in personal or spiritual growth, or at least enjoy exploring these topics with me? I believe we all have an inner desire to do and be more than we are. It’s a beautiful thing that I value, because it provides a sense of motivation to go after those things. Many of us struggle to actually act on that motivation however, and there are some different ways that you can try to approach that.
In the last episode, I spoke about discernment and what an important skill it is. It can serve you very well in this area as well by examining the deeper reasons for your lack of motivation to act on those things that you feel within, things that you just don’t take action on for some reason. Take some time and deconstruct the reasons that you don’t actually act, write it down and work through it on paper, this is very helpful. What is the root cause of my lack of motivation? Is it a belief you have about myself? Is it a lie that I continually reinforce in my mind? Is it a fear of failure? What is it? By deconstructing these questions one layer at a time, you can and will reach an ultimate reason, but question each layer that comes up so you can drill down to the heart of the issue. Once you find this, you have identified exactly what is standing in your way, and this is powerful, because now you have a place to begin!
Another thing that you can do is to amplify your inspiration. What would I personally find inspiring and motivating on my path and pursuit to reach my goals. This is somewhere that I think technology and the internet shine beautifully. We have endless information at our fingertips, and yes it can be difficult to sift through sometimes because there is so much out there, but I am confident that whatever it is you are trying to accomplish, there is something inspirational or motivational about it online. Find your inspiration and feed it regularly! Read or watch the things that motivate you, keep them with you and refer to them often, join a group that shares your interests and supports each other, start a group of your own, just get out there and find things that truly inspire you and leverage that to push you to where you need to be to act. If it’s a quote, make it your wallpaper. If it’s a video or a song, bookmark it on your phone or download a copy to keep it with you for reference anytime. Set reminders that ask you to remind yourself of these concepts often. Put this inspiration in your day, put it right in the way so you cannot ignore it, and let it help you.
Sometimes when we begin over and over in the pursuit of a goal, it begins to feel monotonous. Something else that you could try is to experiment with something completely new, something that sounds interesting or that you have always wanted to try. It can be a different approach to your inner work and practice, or something completely different like a hobby that always struck you as interesting. I think the most important part of this is to pick something inspiring to you in some way. It’s important that we take time in life to do something that inspires us regularly. You may be surprised how growth in these areas can influence our interest and appreciation in other areas. This can spark a renewed interest in other areas you were trying previously without success. This happens by remembering that starting something new can be fun and exciting, maybe you just need a short break from it to renew your sense of purpose and commitment toward those things you find challenging or monotonous. Don’t give up on the things that are important to you, find a way to be inspired and motivated.
This entire theme of beginning again and again, and learning how to accept that as a part of the process, will be a really valuable tool for you in all areas of challenge in your life. It may be helpful to try to forget all you think you know about personal growth and self improvement, and get back to a beginners mindset. Step back to a point where you are willing to accept a challenge and gradually learn the steps you need to in order to make slow but steady progress. Remember that small steps done consistently make a huge difference over time, things add up quickly.
I did this recently to test myself and my own strength. I did a personal challenge to do 100 pushups a day for 30 days straight. I knew I couldn’t do 100 pushups all at once, so I just broke it down like this. I set a reminder on my phone to do 20 pushups every hour for 5 hours during each day. I just made small and incremental steps that were easy to do anywhere. It takes like one minute per hour, five times a day, super easy! I completed that challenge and noticed a huge difference in my strength at the end of it. In 30 days I ended up doing 3000 pushups. That’s a lot, but it didn’t take me hardly any time at all, and what I got out of it was hugely beneficial. My point here is that it doesn’t necessarily need to be massive goals that only overwhelm you, for them to be highly effective and transformative. Take a step back and structure your goals in a way that is achievable, and instead make consistency the #1 part of your goal, and watch what happens over a months time.
Maybe you could try this as an example with your own practice, commit to meditating for 10 minutes every day for 30 days? You will be amazed at what benefits this small commitment can do for you, if you remain consistent. While we are on this topic, I would encourage you to use mediation as a tool to cultivate non-attachment. Many different mediation disciplines have this common goal at the heart of them for good reason. It is a very practical and beneficial skill to develop in your life. As you can imagine, beginning again and again requires a certain amount of patience and determination. Meditation is the perfect practice to help you cultivate this ability, and you will get all of the other amazing benefits as well. Consider introducing a meditation practice into your life, it will help you in many ways, including what we have discussed today. You might want to check out my recent blog post on this if you are interested, I will include a link to that below, as well as a free pdf that may also be helpful.
One last thing that I would like to mention is yet another theme that comes up over and over, and this is centered around mindset. Use your mindset as a tool and prime it to serve as your ally on your path to growth in any area of your life. Try to reframe your mindset in a way that serves you, one that looks at challenges as opportunities to grow. I cannot tell you how valuable it will be for you to spend the time to work on your mindset, so that it will work for you.
I realize that all of these things seem like a lot of hard work, and they certainly can be when you first begin. But if you slowly begin integrating some of these types of tools into your thoughts, beliefs, and actions, they will become second nature. You will begin to see a shift in the way you view things, the way you approach things, and your willingness to persevere when things are difficult. Consider what that kind of attitude toward your life might produce for you, and how that might change things for you? It’s powerful, and the simple willingness to accept the need to begin again and again can lead you to massive differences in your life. So many successful people that you admire were simply tenacious in their efforts to overcome their challenges. They are no different than you, but they are willing to get knocked down and get up again and again and again. Think about that simple truth, and how cultivating that in your own life might be a very worthy effort after all. Learn how to find joy in the process, regardless of how that looks for you.
I will include all the links mentioned today in the show notes. Please go check them out, they are very informative and useful. Until next time, never underestimate the power you have within you, and keep Growing Inward.
