Welcome to the Grow Inward Podcast, I am your host Adrian Petrillo.
So much of our desire to be better, or to do more, is tied to what we want to leave behind. So many of us want to leave this world knowing that we did our best to live a full and meaningful life. It’s so interesting to me how some of us have this natural burning desire from as far back as we can remember, and then some of us don’t develop this until something happens. It can be early or even much later in life, but an event happens that completely changes our perspective on the direction and purpose of our lives. And then there are some who go through their entire life, without this ever crossing their mind, they just live.
I don’t know, I just find this to be quite interesting. It actually ties back to my last episode on trusting the process, because this kind of desire does have meaning, but it isn’t always something you can really measure. It often comes from this deep knowing that drives you, something within you that lets you know that you are capable of more, or that you must change course. That root motivation is not always easily explained, but it can be profound and powerful. I think that is just such a wonderful part of us that can take you to places that you never thought possible, and yet it requires faith to march forward without the proof.
Of course, there are plenty of great reasons to be intention when it comes to what we leave behind. We want to feel like we contributed something meaningful to society, to our families and friends, to our communities. We want to feel like our life had purpose, and that there were those who respected us for who we were and what we stood for. We want to have inspired certain behaviors and actions in others to help them create a better life, where they can do the same in their own meaningful way.
We often look back into history and reflect fondly on these qualities in so many others. How many stories have you heard about the inspiring lives of those in the past, the incredible things that they did which had huge ripple effects in their cultures or their worlds, and some that continue well into our modern times? They are countless and profound in many cases? I think back to the forming of America and the values and rights that were enshrined in those magical documents that we still hold so dear today. The inspired ideas and actions of those from a time long since past provided protection of so many things that we still cherish and respect deeply as Americans today. It’s hard not to be inspired by the gravity of what they left behind. It’s hard not to ask ourselves if we could do more because of these kinds of inspiring lives, lives and people that have given so much to the world around them.
When we come to the table of inner work and connection with a sincere desire to improve our lives, some questions will inevitably come up over time. If today were my very last day, how would I be remembered and what am I leaving behind? I ask you to consider these questions for yourself right now, and feel free to write the answers down to examine more deeply later, after we explore some different ideas around this subject.
It’s interesting to consider what those who know you best would say is your defining characteristic? What do they see in you, as an outside observer for years and years? How do they see you being in the world? What do they admire about you? What do they dislike about you? What kind of potential do they see within you? Where do they perceive your struggles to be?
It can actually be a very insightful experiment to ask your closest family and friends these questions, or similar questions, to gain some interesting information about how you are perceived by others. This is particularly helpful if you are interested in comparing that with what it actually is that you aspire to be and leave behind. There may be some very useful insights gained which you can use to improve or to modify slightly to help you steer in the right direction. Maybe you are right on track, and this could be a wonderful confirmation of that fact? This does require a certain amount of openness and courage, be willing to listen to the parts that are not so pleasant. After all, none of us are perfect, and maybe a little honesty is good to hear from those who love you most. If we can listen and hear this openly, it is very helpful for us to change those things which we would not like to part of what we will be remembered for.
I wonder, when you were young, what were you most excited about? What did you daydream about doing or being in your life? How did you want to shine in your own life? What was really important to you? Think about these questions and write them down. Explore the parts that are part of your life, and the parts that are not. Why are they not included in your life? Are there any ways that you could include them back into your life, even small ways? Have you found other things that are more important? Do you believe in yourself enough to bring your passions to life? If not, how you could start getting closer to that place? What limiting beliefs are getting in your way?
Feel free to go copy many of these questions out of the transcript for this episode on the episode page in the show notes, and explore these things within yourself or create some of your own more relevant questions to ask. These are really insightful things that so many of us rarely take the time to sit down and really reflect upon. This is inner work! It’s really helpful and useful inner work! We must question the limits we find within ourselves, and be willing to walk right into the messy parts of ourselves with honesty and courage to find the answers that will help us overcome all of them. This is possible, and it is at the very heart of inner work and how it can help you grow as a person.
Maybe try exploring how free you actually feel to be yourself, or to do the things that bring you purpose and meaning to you life. Are you living authentically in a way that accurately represents the person that you want to be remembered as? You may already be doing exactly that, and if you are that is wonderful. We should all be living in this way, but I know that it isn’t always easy. These are just some different ideas to consider which may begin to help you shift the way you look at your life and the world, which is a very valuable part of all inner growth.
Consider how you may have been influenced to be something other than your ideal self. This could be from things like school, peers, authority, societal expectations, work, or any number of different sources. Have these sources helped you be more of who you are throughout your life, or have they hurt you by holding you back or influencing you to be someone different? What is truly sacred to you, and is your life currently built around those things?
If you do take the time to reflect on some of these questions, consider some of the limitations which you may have identified by yourself, or that someone else may have identified for you, and identify one thing you begin doing differently right now. Identify a way that you can shift that to embody the way that you want to be remembered. Identify what is missing from your story today that you want to be included from now on, and remember to start small. It doesn’t have to be some immense and impossible goal, make small and manageable. Break it down into parts if it is too big, and work on just one piece at a time. Then gradually include the additional pieces until you have it down. I really want to encourage you to use a journal with all of this stuff, you are going to want to document these things for reference later, and it doesn’t take much to keep track of it. It will be very helpful and useful for you to do this.
You may want to create some reminders for yourself, things that are right in your way so you never miss them. These will be things you need or want to change, little saying or videos that inspire you. Create a screensaver with inspiring phrases and put that on your phone or computer, change it whenever it feels right. Set reminders on your phone that jump out at you, things that remind you to stay on track or prompts to repeat to yourself to keep your mind in the right place.
To create some of these things, you might sit down and write down exactly who you want to be remembered as. Paint a very clear picture of who this person is and all of the things that they embody in their day to day life. Make yourself a little script to follow and practice living it. Use visualization by seeing this person and this life, how does it look, how does it feel, what kinds of things do you say and do, what kind of work do you do, where do you live, how are your relationships, how do people see you?
What we leave behind, our legacy, is something that is important to many of us. I think that much of the inner work that I have done has been so that I can learn how to become the best version of myself. To reach toward those inspiring parts of who I know I could be, and to do my best to develop them. I would love to be remembered as someone who made a difference in this world and in peoples lives. Someone who loved to learn and to grow. Someone who was kind and caring, and that helped people to feel seen and heard. I hope I leave something that inspires others to do the same and be the best example they can for those they love.
Living your life with purpose is so important. It is why I value the art of inner work so much, because it is through this kind of work that we can find our true purpose. We won’t learn it in a book, or in a video, from an expert or a guru, we learn it by seeking it out within ourselves. This work is not for the faint of heart, it requires discipline and courage, faith and curiosity, will and strength, and yet, it will provide something priceless in your own life, and that is purpose. It is worth considering the possibility that our definition of purpose may not be entirely accurate? Is purpose a career or a skill, is it a role or a duty, is it a means or an end?
Maybe purpose is simply learning how to love ourselves and others exactly wherever we find ourselves in life, and leaving an example that extends directly into a legacy which can never die? What will you leave behind?
I hope you enjoyed this episode today. I have a link to an inspiring video about legacy in the show notes, so feel free to check that out if you are interested. Until next time, never underestimate the power you have within you, and keep Growing Inward.
