Welcome to the Grow Inward Podcast, I am your host Adrian Petrillo.
Let’s talk about something that nobody likes, at least not when it is directed at us, and that is rejection! What a fun subject huh (laughs). Oh it won’t be that bad, I promise. Actually, this is kind of a yin and yang type of conversation, because we are going to talk about both sides of this. One being the receiver of rejection, and the other being the giver. I think in the context of our times as of this recording, there are indeed some areas for improvement?
Let’s just open this up with a very simple truth, rejection is just a natural part of life, plain and simple. There is no perfect world where everyone is free from the tyranny of rejection, a safe and secure utopia that is completely under our managed control, where nobody ever has to feel bad or fearful.
To all those politicians out there who love to use safety as your justification and universal bait and switch weapon for all the crimes you perpetrate on us and our freedom, this means YOU! Hey I have an idea, maybe we should follow a higher law, one that unilaterally rejects all abuse of power by those in positions of trust and power? Benjamin Franklin had something to say about this, “Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety”, and Thomas Jefferson also spoke to this fact saying “He who gives his freedom for safety gets none of them”.
Interestingly, I don’t recall a single modern politician even considering a conversation about the dangers to citizens when limiting liberty and freedom in favor of safety? For example, the Patriot Act has a real shiny label behind its deviously deceptive name, and it is just one tiny example of the endless parade of ever expanding abuses of power in the extreme today. The public certainly had not an ounce of input on the passing of this or any other piece of recent legislation, of which is often carefully crafted to systematically limit the freedoms that we all enjoy, while simultaneously vastly expanding the powers of authority which the government claims to need in the name of safety. These are massive documents that can’t possibly be reviewed with any detail or scrutiny before they are rushed into law, how can this possibly be legally binding?
Rejection was built into the very fabric of the United States Constitution, on purpose! You see the founders knew very well that, in the context of liberty and freedom for its citizens, without placing very clear limits on what is and isn’t acceptable by our own government, abuse would inevitably ensue to the detriment of every citizen. They were quite astute in their observations, and they carefully crafted those founding documents, laws, and amendments accordingly, to carefully protect the very liberties and freedoms which indeed matter most even today. They did this by rejecting that which did not contribute to the values and ideals of a democracy, which served to strike a reasonable balance between principles of freedom and limitations of power.
I have no intention of turning this into a politically oriented discussion or podcast, but this is a great example in the context of the idea of rejection and how important it can be. While it isn’t always something that feels positive, it may in fact be quite necessary. The crazy part is, that we often cannot even see this clearly until we are able to look back upon it some time later?
Think back over your life and think about some of the times where you experienced rejection that felt absolutely horrible at the time, but that may have sent you in an entirely different direction that proved to work out much better later? Not every single person listening will be able to come up with an example of this right away, but many of you will if you think about it for a bit.
Life has a funny way of steering us where we need to go, if only we can lean into that and trust it a bit. In the case of rejection as the catalyst for this kind of change, it can be rather difficult to accept at the time. Isn’t it funny though how time tends to melt away the difficulty that we feel in the moment, leaving us with a much different view of the situation later in life?
Another way to think of this kind of scenario in your life is to think back to a point where you were taken in an entirely different direction than you expected. Then work back from that change point and consider if rejection played a part in the changes you experienced? You may be surprised to find that some form of rejection does indeed play a part in many significant changes in our lives. The big question is, is that by design? If so, how in the world does that work? Welcome to one of the beautiful mysteries of life!
In terms of rejection, I have always had the view that albeit unpleasant, rejection is very healthy and often necessary in ways that aren’t always clear at first glance. I think that it is unhealthy to avoid rejection or try to protect others from it. It seems that as human beings it is a very powerful catalyst for us to grow, in many if not most circumstances. I cannot dispute the fact that it isn’t always helpful or pleasant, but there are lessons to be learned from it, and if I had to choose I would always leave it included as a part of my experience. It helps us develop at least some level of thicker skin, and it often shines a light somewhere that we may have needed to pay more attention in our lives.
It is strange how many of the most uncomfortable parts of our lives tend to provide the most growth for us as human beings and individuals. These powerful and emotionally charged events are the ones that impact us the most and provide us with opportunities, if only we can view them in that light?
I wonder, have you ever felt rejected for just being you? I know I have, there were many people growing up that loved to make me feel terrible for being me. I never did understand why, but it doesn’t really matter. I can’t say that it had no effect on me, but maybe that wasn’t all bad? It’s often hard to determine something like this, but I have considered that it was all just part of the path I had to follow, even if I don’t feel like I understood all of it. Often just being able to look at events in your life with this kind of non-attachment can be really helpful in moving forward and letting go of the parts that were difficult for you. It happened, just moving forward and doing better with what you learned from it seems like an honest and healthy way to go?
I think so much of the world wants to put us all into this little box. We are expected to do certain things, or to be a certain way, or to say only certain things, but none of this will ever serve us well. If we can’t express ourselves, even if it offends others, it makes for a really boring life. And on the side of those who are offended, maybe this is a great opportunity to just shake it off and move along without holding on too tightly. It’s not like we have to make friends with those we don’t agree with, so why can’t we just let them find theirs and we go find ours? I know I have been offended by all kinds of different people, but I don’t really let that weigh me down too long, I just move on and find the ones I do like to be around. There is no need to overcomplicate things. I know there are exceptions, but most of the time it really is that simple?
We live in a world that wants everyone to tip toe around in this hyper sensitive state of fear that we might offend someone else? This is doing great damage to us and our societies, regardless of how this is framed. We can’t protect everyone from everything, this includes everything from viruses to feelings. Stop believing that there is this utopian safety zone where we are all forever protected and happy, it simply does not exist!
I can hardly even recognize the world today from just the short time between my childhood and now, it’s quite remarkable how different it is, and completely unremarkable in the level of ridiculous we see on display today? I lay so much of this blame on the irresponsible use of media and authority today. I am not sure where it all began, and it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we reject it completely in a united fashion. Before we can do that, we need to understand where the shocks are coming from. If you don’t know what I am talking about, check out the video I have linked to in the show notes for more clarity. It is definitely worth your time if you want to better understand much of the madness you see in the world around you today.
Is anybody else’s ideas or views more valuable than yours? Do you stand firm in your convictions and reject those people or messages that breach your morality or values? If not, I want to give you permission right now to do exactly that. I may not have any authority to give this permission, but I am going to anyway, because I believe that we all have the right to stand very firm in our beliefs. I believe that we were bestowed that right by the very hand of god, and that nobody on this planet has any authority to the contrary. It is your god given right, and you should exercise it.
It is very disturbing to see how many people are willing to go along with narratives or group think in our society today. I think many of us want to be respectful to authority, but what happens when authority does not respect us or our ideas? Well, we have a duty to stand up and say something and to reject others who try to shame us for having morals or values that they don’t agree with or narratives or ways of thinking.
I think you understand what I am talking about here, and I just want to encourage you to think very critically about the stories you are told and the things you are expected to believe or agree with. Don’t just do it because someone says it, question it and push back if it doesn’t make sense. In short, reject that which does not align with your integrity. This is very important and very critical at this time in our world. We need more of this, and all I can do is ask you to consider that and what it means to you?
Rejection plays such a huge part in all of our lives. I thought it was a really important thing to talk about, because it has impacted so much of my own life. I do still struggle with it, as we all do, but I think that by changing the ways we look at things we can make large strides in our life and growth. Ultimately, this is just another aspect of growth, and when you turn your attention within to explore these kinds of aspects of your life, you discover more and more about yourself and what motivates you. In this way it is very relevant to this podcast and my hope is that you will question more about all these different aspects of yourself. I think it is easy to see how deep this work can go, and the endless considerations that are there for you to explore. There aren’t very many aspects of your life where you cannot delve deeper and learn even more about yourself. It really is a fun journey, and I hope you won’t reject it….
Until next time, never underestimate the power you have within you, and keep Growing Inward.
